Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The air was thick with penises
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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