I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
