so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
