my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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