If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
they're like a gay fantastic four
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
