K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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