There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
