walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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