There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
