brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I skipped work to stalk him.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
