I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
