he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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