Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
