K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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