I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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