there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
