Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
