you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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