so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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