I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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