the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
