k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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