But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
