Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
