THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
