I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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