when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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