69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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