We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
