I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
