dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
