I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
