I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
