You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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