Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize