Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
