to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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