Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
