Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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