the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize