But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
