It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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