just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
