and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I fill condoms, not promises.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize