he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
