Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
