so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
