a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
no you cant smoke seaweed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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