Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
