your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
only you would photoshop your dick
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
