I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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