I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
