When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
