she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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