Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
