Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
