I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
