i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
