she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
