Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize