he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
