he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
