You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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