Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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