so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize