I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
