my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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