I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize