Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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