You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
