my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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