So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize