So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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