you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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