good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
