I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
